Sunday, May 25, 2008
i hate it when ppl reminds me of my size...to many ppl fat is wrong and ugly!the world thinks everyone has to be thin to be well-liked by others!but i beg to differ alright!fat isnt ugly!not all fat ppl are ugly!take lydia sum for example..she is fat but so wht she lives her life her way and makes ppl happy..when she dies..she is remembered by millions...how bout say...queen latifah??huh??isnt she just huge but amazing in her own way?has style and confidence?wht's wrong with being fat??fat doesnt mean anything!it just means unhealthy?!?am i RIGHT or WRONG??yea im fat!but so wht...ya i made a mistake but cant i have time?im so irritated with ppl who constantly just reminds me of it...it's just sick!it is of no help but on the other hand just pulls my self-esteem down...ppl maybe joking but c'mon think of other's feelings when u joke...sometimes it may be a laughing matter to u but not to another?!u may say im petty..i dun care alright!WHATEVER!
freaking FI report is getting on my nerves!technical report?wth!do i have to do tt in sec sch??NO!doing this is no fun at all...no where to start and no where to end!wht a bother!
FPQA is another crap!research and research and research and in the end we deduce and conclude ourselves..wht crap!teacher doesnt even tell us if we r right or wrong..she just gives crap replies when we ask her qns...and u noe wht??we r tested on whtever tt we researched...and ya!how do we know if whtever tt we or our classmates' research are right??no we dont!we just study aimlessly and hope to pass!*roll eyes*
u noe wht?right now i just dun see anything i fron of me!just a yr of NIE and 5 yrs of teaching bond!sometimes i just ask myself did i even get into the right course??is it really wht i wanted in the first place...im afraid not...the sch's far i have totravel till thy kingdom come before i reach home...and hw is so freaking difficult!i just have to console myself tt i LOVE travelling so i can make it through tt 3 yrs taking bus to sch!i once thoguht tt my next goal was to get into the uni course for CST students...but wht are the chances??0.000000000000001% or maybe less than tt or maybe even 0! so wht's the point...i dun see the point and when im out from there..ya a certificate and then wht...another extra 2 yrs bond which makes it 7 yrs bonded to sth which im not really keen on!
ya!im being childish!im complaining and complaining and not using my big brains tothink of wht to do next and how to think on the positive side..but wht positive side isthere??stable job??is tt wht singaporean's life is all about??money?job?i wanna do sth tt i like!but im stuck!is it wrong listening to my mother?i dun wan to say its wrong but just tt maybe whtever tt i like to her it might not be the best choice...from sec sch till now it has always been the case..im indecisive!my mum decides for me and i let her!i listened to her!and im always stuck with things im not comfortable with..things i dun like!when do i get to do the things i like?never i guess....in life...nth goes ur way.
im breaking apart!things around me are breaking me apart..my family isnt helping!all tt i wrote in my previous post are fake!its just to make myself feel better...they are all fake!im pathetic and im living my life the pathetic way..till when? i dunno..and i dun wish to know.*cries*
dun leave comments about this post...dun tag about this post...its just whtever in me..i just wanna write and forget about it.if ppl out there who reads and change their impression of me i cant help it...but just dun ask me anything about anything here.just read (if u want) and shhhhhh............
p/s:Lord im desperate! pull me out of this mess and give me a chance.and...lastly....give me faithfulness.
*loves*
Close to you
8:12 PM
